House Rules
by Fortune Maiden
Summary: In which conspicuous actions are done inconspicuously, En and Kinshiro find common ground, and Ryuu is the only sane man.


**House Rules**

_In which conspicuous actions are done inconspicuously, En and Kinshiro find common ground, and Ryuu is the only sane man._

* * *

_This fic contains En &amp; Kinshiro in agreement. You've been warned._

* * *

"C-7-2? Come in. Do you copy?"

"What's up?"

"The targets have just entered a highly populated confectionery shop."

"…A _what?_"

"Sweets shop, Yufuin. Pay attention."

"Well maybe if you'd stop talking like—never mind. So what now? Wanna go in, or do we wait out here?"

"We risk blowing our cover if we go inside. It's unfortunate, but we will have to wait. I will keep an eye on the front. Circle around to see if there's a back entrance."

"Kay."

"Also… I have heard back from my contact. About that other matter."

"Great, let's hear it."

"There does not appear to be anyone matching that person's description in Japan's criminal database."

"That's good, right?"

"No, all it tells us is there is no criminal record on file _in Japan. _We haven't checked abroad."

"Oh."

"Furthermore, without a name, we are stuck relying on an easily alterable physical appearance."

"If you say so."

"Take this more seriously!"

"Don't yell at me. I'm going along with this, aren't I?"

"And you're… hold on the targets have just exited the shop. Where are you?"

"Other side, as ordered. No back door, by the way."

"Never mind that, they're turning the corner. They should be coming into your view next. Don't lose them!"

"Yeah, hold on… ah there they are. Alright A-9-12, I'll—_oh shit._"

"What happened? Were you spotted? C-7-2, come in."

"I'll need to call you back."

"Wait, don't hang—Yufuin!"

* * *

This was not happening. No. Ryuu was not witnessing this. No way. Nuh-uh. If he closed his eyes, it would all go away and he could go back to running his errands and—

Nope. He was still there.

Ryuu glanced around the streets, wishing desperately to follow the lead of every other innocent bystander and very pointedly _not_ look at the idiot in the trench coat and sunglasses, very obviously not reading a newspaper as he crouched behind a store.

Unfortunately for him, that idiot was a good friend.

And even more unfortunately, it only took him spotting one other friend accompanied by one _very_ attractive young lady to put two and two together.

And for the most unfortunate part of all—

"Yufuin-senpai," Ryuu hissed every syllable through gritted teeth, a little too loudly apparently, for En suddenly glanced up.

—their eyes met.

En, for his part, grimaced, ended the call he was having, and stood up straight. He dusted off his jacket, took off his sunglasses, hid the newspaper behind his back, and waved awkwardly.

Great. Now Ryuu _had_ to deal with this.

He glanced quickly at the street to make sure it was clear, and then marched up to his friend, wearing his best pissed-off expression.

"Hey there, Ryuu," En said casually, "Lovely weather, isn't it?"

"Yes," Ryuu agreed, "A bit warm for trench coats though, I would say?"

"There's a very good explanation for this."

"I'm sure. And does it have anything to do with that girl I just saw Kinugawa-senpai with?" En looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Yes, well—

"Yufuin-senpai, no. You can't do this."

"Look this wasn't my idea. It was—

He was cut off by someone suddenly yelling his name, and when Ryuu turned around, his headache tripled as Kusatsu Kinshiro, in an identical trench coat and also holding a newspaper, suddenly appeared from the corner.

"His idea," En finished, pointing.

Ryuu buried his face in his hands.

* * *

It all started that morning with a text message. A simple "I'm so sorry, but I can't come over this morning. Meeting with someone." sent to Kinshiro's phone that really shouldn't have caused any problems, and yet did.

Now it wasn't fair to say that Kinshiro learned nothing from that one incident in middle school. He did! He understood that Atsushi had other friends and could hang out with them whenever he wanted, but such a vague last minute Sunday morning rejection bothered him. Especially the "meeting with someone". Why hadn't Atsushi specified whom? Kinshiro knew it couldn't have been Yufuin (for that sloth would never have woken up so early) and it didn't seem right that Atsushi wouldn't have named any of their mutual acquaintances, so who was this "someone"?

He knew he shouldn't have—really, _really_ shouldn't have, but Kinshiro found himself casually wandering over to the direction of Atsushi's house, in hopes of maybe, _just maybe_, spotting this mysterious someone.

He did. Hiding safely behind a lamppost (well didn't that feel familiar), he spotted a smiling Atsushi walking off with a tall, lean, blonde woman.

It took only a phone call of eight words...

"Yufuin, wake up. We have a problem. At-chan…"

And Yufuin En was instantly onboard.

* * *

"I don't believe this," Ryuu groaned, "This—_this_ is going too far. Both of you."

"Desperate times," En shrugged.

"No, these aren't," Ryuu retorted, "And how the hell has Kinugawa-senpai not spotted you in those getups_?_"

He gestured to the ridiculous trench coats and newspapers. It was understandable that everyone else would try to avert their gaze, but Atsushi and his lady friend should have noticed them, and responded appropriately.

"Why would he? I thought we were fairly inconspicuous," Kinshiro said.

"Yes, two grown men walking around in trench coats, reading newspapers with _eye-holes_ in this day and age are very commonplace," Ryuu replied icily, "Both of you need to go home now."

"Absolutely not," Kinshiro bristled, "We need to find out who that woman thinks she is."

Ryuu glanced over in the direction of the happy couple. They were too far away for him to hear what they were talking about, but Ryuu could easily hear the cheer in Atsushi's voice as he gestured while he spoke. The girl for her part, dressed very elegantly in designer clothes, had a vibrant smile on her face, as she nodded along to whatever he was saying.

It seemed a little unfair to Ryuu that Atsushi should find a woman he was so happy to be around before him, but that envy paled against his delight, and Ryuu refused to let the guy's _best friends_ ruin it.

"She is someone whom Kinugawa-senpai obviously likes," Ryuu countered, "Is that really so hard for you two to accept?"

Kinshiro looked indignant, but En shrugged. "Look, I'm happy for Atsushi, really," he said, "But I'd have thought he'd at least hint to his best friend about something like this."

"And _I_ have not heard anything on this front," Kinshiro cut in (Ryuu didn't miss En's eye twitch, but thankfully the brunette held his tongue).

Ryuu sighed. "He probably wanted to see if things were serious before letting you both know," he pointed at the couple, "Look at how they're walking. They're keeping an obvious distance from each other and there's no hand holding. And they're dressed pretty formally, as if they want to impress the other. It's probably their first date. What have they done so far?"

"Walked around mainly," En answered, "Just sightseeing."

"They also entered that sweets shop," Kinshiro explained, "At-chan bought something. You can see the bag in his hand." There was indeed a bag.

"Definitely sounds like a first date," Ryuu nodded. He paused when he realized that En and Kinshiro were grinning at him with knowing looks.

"What?"

* * *

"I hate you both."

Ryuu cursed his ability to understand the female mind. And the fact that En was bigger and stronger than him, and could run pretty damn fast when he needed to. He should have just let them keep up the ridiculous detective act. At least then there was a chance a cop would arrest them for suspicious behavior and poor Atsushi could have his date in peace.

But, no, now he was stuck with them, helping them figure out if the poor girl was someone they'd want near their best friend.

…At least they ditched the trench coats. That was one consolation.

They followed them to a café. It was crowded, which allowed them to take use the other patrons as their cover. Atsushi and the mystery girl ordered themselves hot drinks and sweets.

"This café," En frowned, "It's Atsushi's favorite."

"Is it?" Kinshiro narrowed his eyes.

"Yes, the cakes here are really good."

"Hmm, taking a girl to his favorite place on the first date," Ryuu mused, sipping his soda, "I usually let the girl decide where she wants to go."

"Maybe it's her favorite too then," En suggested. Ryuu shrugged.

He watched them for a while longer. Atsushi had ordered himself some tea and a small cake, while the girl got a cappuccino and had a large array of sweets beside her.

"Well she certainly ordered a lot," Kinshiro remarked coldly.

"Indeed," En agreed in disapproval.

"What is it now?" Ryuu groaned.

"You know how Atsushi is," En said, "He's going to insist on paying the bill."

"So, of course, she orders as much as she can," Kinshiro continued, "Disgraceful." Ryuu considered saying something in the girl's defense, but he knew that it would be pointless. En and Kinshiro had already decided they hated her on principle and would find fault in every little thing she did. They probably had an issue with the way she held her coffee cup too.

"And look at that smile on her face," Kinshiro continued, "Completely fake."

Yes, or maybe her—

"Wait, what?" Ryuu looked at him, "What do you mean "fake"? She has a beautiful smile."

"No I'm with Kusatsu on this," En said, "It looks really "put on", you know. Like those creepy smiles idols have in magazines."

"You two are seriously nitpicking," Ryuu sighed, "Is there anything about her you _like_?"

"No." They answered in unison, without missing a beat.

* * *

"You know," Ryuu knew he was going to regret saying it, but the words spilled out of his mouth before he could stop them, "It's funny, but the more I look at her, the more I feel I've seen her face somewhere before."

The matching looks of horror that appeared on En and Kinshiro's faces spoke volumes.

"Kusatsu, can you get your guy to look into all the area's host clubs?"

"Already on it," Kinshiro typed rapidly on his phone.

Ryuu briefly wondered if Io would help him hide the bodies if it came to that.

* * *

It was when Atsushi and his date stopped at a magazine stand that Ryuu decided he couldn't take it anymore. En and Kinshiro were absolutely nuts and Atsushi needed to know he was being followed.

He considered how to tackle it. The easiest way would be to send a text but in the time it took him to type it, one of his jailers would notice. He also knew they wouldn't let him call anyone in case he tried to pass along a message.

But while Atsushi and the girl were getting a little too close as they flipped through a magazine, Ryuu realized he had his chance. En and Kinshiro were absolutely seething over this, and didn't even notice as he stepped away and began to dial.

Unfortunately, they weren't that inattentive. As soon as his recipient answered his phone (and of course, they'd notice that, they were _looking right at him_), he heard En shout "grab him" and flailed uselessly in Kinshiro's surprisingly firm grip as En took the phone from his hand and put it to his ear.

"Yo, Atsushi, how's it going?" En said in the most innocent voice he had, "Yeah, some trouble sleeping today…er what's that? Struggling? …Oh _that_. Well, Ryuu and I are just hanging out for the day, wandering around—you know how it is. I told him I was kinda lonely without you so he started calling you before I could react." He laughed sheepishly, while Ryuu yelled at him, voice muffled by Kinshiro's palm over his mouth.

"So how are you anyway...Oh you can't talk right now? How come...Mhm. Fine I see how it is. Er, no, I'm getting upset with you! No, no, please don't get upset...Yeah, I'll talk you later. Bye Atsushi." He hung up and pocketed the phone as Kinshiro let Ryuu go. There was a disgusted look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Kinshiro asked.

"Just now, before he hung up, I heard a name," En explained, "He called her Madoka-san."

A similar look appeared on Kinshiro's face.

Ryuu, still straightening out his clothes whistled. "First name basis already. Kinugawa-senpai works fast."

"Madoka," Kinshiro repeated the name.

"Yeah."

"What, is her name a problem too? I think it's a nice name. Brings to mind a very cute and sweet girl."

"So she'd like you to think," Kinshiro muttered, "Sweet on the surface, but it's all a mask for sorrow and depression."

"…What?"

"And then just when you think things will have worked out for the better, they just get more depressing and confusing." En added. Ryuu's eye twitched.

"You have all of that against her _name_?"

"That's just what it brings to mind," En shrugged.

"Another point against her favor."

"Stop agreeing with each other!"

* * *

The stalking continued, and Ryuu's fingers began to itch for his phone, but asking for it nicely just netted him an amused look from his supposed friend.

"I just don't get it," Ryuu sighed, "Why are you two so against all of this? Kinugawa-senpai doesn't need your approval to date someone."

"We're just looking out for him," En explained.

"By stalking him and mocking his date?"

"It's a necessary evil," Kinshiro said.

"Keep telling yourself that."

"No, really," En cleared his throat, "As Atsushi's best friend, it's my sworn duty to ensure his happiness. I have to make sure that any girl he dates appreciates him and cares for him as much as I do."

_Does a girl that obsessive even exist?_ Ryuu thought dryly.

"At-chan is too nice for his own good," Kinshiro continued, "He'll be blind to any of her faults, so it's up to me to make sure she isn't some sort of gold digger looking to take advantage of him."

"I see," Ryuu sighed, "And that's why you don't even trust Atsushi to pick someone before you start scrutinizing everything from her eating habits to her name?"

"How can we?" En asked, "Atsushi is a great guy, but his taste in friends is absolutely terrible."

Ryuu blinked, momentarily taking offense, before remembering just _who_ said that.

"Indeed," Kinshiro nodded, "I mean, he chooses to spend most of his time with a lazy slob who can't even take care of himself."

"And the rest of his time is devoted to an uptight judgmental pain-in-the-ass who gave him the silent treatment for years over a tiny misunderstanding."

"See, terrible tastes. It's only logical that they extend to his potential girlfriend as well." Though both Kinshiro and En wore pleasant smiles as they said all of that, Ryuu couldn't help but back away a little.

Looking at Atsushi and then at En and Kinshiro's not-quite glaring match, he couldn't help but nod.

"You know, that logic was so ridiculously nonsensical that it actually warped in on itself to become perfectly _sensible_."

* * *

At last, the date was coming to an end. Or so it seemed anyway, unless Atsushi planned to follow her into the train station. But from their distance, it looked they were exchanging parting words in front of the entrance.

"Think he'll escort her home?" En asked.

"That is what one traditionally does on these dates, is it not?" Kinshiro asked, "And I suppose it's only fair since she picked him up at his house. Although, that doesn't sound like something normally done on a date either."

"Really? Atsushi gets me at my house, whenever we go out."

"You are not a standard to be held to."

"Harsh," En smirked, "What do you think Ryuu? Ryuu?"

"I remembered!" Ryuu suddenly jumped up excitedly and began running directly towards Atsushi and his date.

"Oi, what are you—

"Get back here!"

"Oh shut it. I followed you two all day without complaint. The date's over anyway and you are not ruining this moment for me." En and Kinshiro were right on his tail, but he didn't care. He had to reach Atsushi before it was too late.

"Kinugawa-senpai!" he yelled as he got close, alerting Atsushi and his friend.

"Ryuu?" Atsushi asked startled as Ryuu skidded to a halt in front of him. En and Kinshiro were just behind. "En-chan and Kin-chan?"

"A-Atsushi," En stammered, catching his breath, "F-fancy running into you here."

"Yes?" Atsushi blinked in confusion. Ryuu, breath caught, quickly straightened himself out and approached the girl.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry to startle you like this, but, by any chance, are you Madorin?" he asked, turning on all of his charm.

"Oh! Yes, I am," the girl smiled politely.

"I knew it!" Ryuu's eyes lit up, "I'm Zaou Ryuu, Kinugawa-senpai's classmate. I'm a huge fan of your work."

"Thank you so much!"

"Madorin?" Kinshiro frowned.

"Ah, this is Madoka Rina-san," Atsushi explained, "She's a model for Vivi Magazine."

"I'm usually credited as "Madorin" though," she added with a little laugh, "My agent thought it was a fun play on the English word "modelin'"."

"Sounds more like "maudlin" if you ask me," Kinshiro whispered to En.

"What's that?"

"Overly sentimental."

"Ah."

"Madoka-san, these are my friends Zaou Ryuu, Yufuin En, and Kusatsu Kinshiro," Atsushi explained.

"So this is the famous En-chan and Kin-chan I heard so much about."

"You... you heard about us?" En ran a hand through his hair.

"Yes, Atsushi-kun wouldn't stop talking about you all day. "This is En-chan's favorite café" and "Kin-chan loves the sweets here." I feel like I know so much about you already."

"Madoka-san, please stop. You're embarrassing me," Atsushi's face reddened, "But um, what are you guys doing here anyway?"

"Er, we were in the neighborhood," En said.

"We met up accidentally…and decided to keep each other company," Kinshiro added hastily.

"Oh."

Ryuu rolled his eyes and turned back to Rina. "Madorin-san, would it be alright if I took a picture with you? O-or an autograph? Or can I shake your hand?"

"Ryuu, stop that," Atsushi scolded, but Rina just laughed.

"A picture is fine," she looked at Atsushi, "Can you take it?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Kinugawa-senpai," Ryuu reached into his pocket for his phone, but then remembered its current whereabouts. "Yufuin-senpai, can I have my phone back now?"

"Yeah, yeah, here," En fished it out, just in time to catch Atsushi's critical stare.

"Why do you have his phone?"

"I forgot to return it to him earlier."

"Why am I having trouble believing you?"

"Kinugawa-senpai, come on," Ryuu groaned, "Madorin-san doesn't have all day, you know."

"Sorry," Atsushi took the pink phone and followed the two of them as they moved to get a better view.

En took the moment to sidle closer to Kinshiro. "So a model, huh?"

"Vivi magazine is one of the top fashion magazines too. Commendable."

"She doesn't seem _too_ bad."

"She is probably not a gold digger, at any rate."

"More importantly, modeling's pretty busy work, isn't it?"

"It is," Kinshiro smiled.

"Doesn't leave much free time, does it?"

"Indeed."

"What are you two mumbling about?" Atsushi suddenly asked. Behind him, Ryuu waved his final goodbyes to Rina, who disappeared into the subway, with a friendly smile.

"Nothing," Kinshiro quickly answered.

"Er, anyway, Atsushi, about you and Madoka-san," En began nervously.

"What about us?"

"We just want you to know that we approve," Kinshiro finished.

"Approve? Of what?"

"You know," En grinned, "You two. Together."

"Dating," Kinshiro blurted out the word.

Atsushi stared at the two of them as if they'd each grown a second head, before turning a bright shade of red.

"D-dating? Where did you—I think you guys misunderstood something," he stammered, "I'm not dating Madoka-san. I was just showing her around the city today."

"You don't have to hide it, At-chan," Kinshiro assured him.

"I'm not hiding anything," Atsushi sighed, "She's a visiting friend of my sister's. My sister was supposed to show her around today, but something came up and she asked me to do it. That's all."

En and Kinshiro exchanged looks.

"Are you sure?" En asked.

"I'm sure," Atsushi frowned, "Did you really think I would start dating someone without telling you guys?"

"Of course not!" Kinshiro stated.

"But you know, you might have wanted to test the waters a bit; see if it was serious first. That kind of thing," En added.

"No, I'd definitely tell you guys," Atsushi insisted, "I mean, you're my best friends." En and Kinshiro smiled at him, though in the back of their minds, their consciences nagged at them in Ryuu's voice mercilessly.

"That reminds me," he held up the bag from the sweets shop, "I felt bad about having to cancel on you so suddenly, so I bought these for you earlier." Atsushi pulled out two boxes, which instantly made En and Kinshiro's face light up. One was a box of Onsen Manju, and the other was a box of Amanatto. "I was going to give you these tomorrow at school, but since you're here, you can have them now."

"At-chan," Kinshiro took his box, struggling to hide his smile.

"You're too good to us," En didn't waste a moment wrapping his arm around Atsushi's shoulders.

Then Atsushi glanced back at Ryuu, who was still staring at the spot where he'd last seen Rina. "Ah, I should have bought something for Ryuu too. I'm sorry, Ryuu. If you tell me what you'd like, I can—

"No, no, it's fine," Ryuu held up his phone proudly, "This is better than any box of sweets. It's more than worth all of the hell these two put me through today. I can't wait to show this to Io tomorrow!"

"H-hell?" Kinshiro grimaced.

"O-oi, watch it, Zaou," En scowled.

"Hell, huh?" Atsushi laughed and turned to them with a playful smile, "So then, what sort of things were you three up to today?"

* * *

**A/N:** Remember back when I wrote "Let's Fall in Love!" I mentioned having another idea for a Ryuu and En bromance fic? Well since then, the finale happened, and it became a En and Kinshiro bromance fic with poor Ryuu stuck holding the leash.  
...Ah well, he got a photo with a pretty girl in the end, so it's all good. Fluff and Friendship win the day!

Er yeah, that's all folks. Thanks for reading. Till next fic :)

(Incidentally, Vivi is an actual Japanese fashion magazine. No special meaning, I just picked a random one that fit my purposes.)  
(And the name Madoka was chosen specifically so I could make that one little jab (those two would have found fault with any name really!). I actually really like the name a lot ^^")  
(Also, anyone want to guess what those "code names" in the beginning were? Kin-chan made them up, by the way ;))


End file.
